Duel of the Fates
by Laatija
Summary: Who would win in a fight to the death? Edward or Jacob? Well, lets see... Completely and totally AU!
1. The Beginning of the End

Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight characters...i think it's glaringly obvious.

A/N: Ok, i'm gonna start this off by saying this: this is completly AU! Ya'll will probably hate me. I don't actually intend for this to be an actual twilight story. It's more of a 'what if' story. Me and my roommate were arguing about who would win in a fight to the death; Edward or Jacob. So this is my response to that argument. It's not to be taken seriously. The first part of the fight is posted here. The next chapter will be the last part of the fight with Edward winning. The chapter after that will be Jacob winning. See? Win-win, all the way around.

Warnings: Character death x 2

So now, the beginning of the answer to the epic question; who would win in a fight between Edward and Jacob?

**Duel of the Fates**

Bella watched helplessly from the sidelines. Her voice had gone hoarse long ago from screaming. They hadn't listened to her. They were both far too busy trying to stay in control of themselves to notice her screaming. The control couldn't have lasted any longer than it did. Truly, she was surprised that it lasted this long.

Regardless, they'd snapped at nearly the same time. Edward, as usual, exuded more self control; but only by the briefest of seconds. Jacob was at one end of the beach. Edward was at the other. It was like an old western standoff, but much quicker. There was no counting of the paces, no measurement to ensure a fair fight from the beginning. It was more like a split second pause when they'd both realized that lines had been crossed; an insult gone too far.

Then Jacob lunged. He phased in a matter of seconds. The large wolf nearly flew down the length of beach. Edward had turned frightening. A snarl had frozen on his face and his black eyes burned holes in the sand with their intensity. He raced to meet the charging quadruped.

They met in an explosion of sound. Two titans of equal strength meeting in the worst possible way. Two bolts of lightning striking the earth at the same time and fighting for floor space. Flashes of white and russet formed a massive snarling ball that shot across the beach.

Bella blinked away tears that blurred her vision. She wanted to look away but couldn't bring herself to do it. Two of the three men she loved were trying to kill each other, could she afford _not_ seeing this?

Vicious roars filled the air. If there was any wild life in the area before, there wasn't any more. Although, it was only a matter time before the pack showed up. If Alice and the others weren't halfway across the globe, she imagined they'd be here already. Although, if Alice had been here to begin with, this probably wouldn't have happened at all.

They had broken apart. Bella sunk to the sandy ground, not trusting her legs to hold her up anymore. Jacob was limping heavily. His right shoulder looked dislocated and he couldn't fully raise his neck. She could only imagine the many broken bones that hid under the russet fur. His eyes were red around the dark brown iris. His lips were curled back over his long sharp teeth, one of which was missing, only a bloody stump to indicate its former presence.

Edward no longer looked like the beautiful vampire she knew. He looked more like a zombie. The damage on his body was more pronounced, not hidden under pounds of hair. Two ragged gashes ran parallel to each other as they streaked across his once perfect chest. Old, black, congealed blood oozed slightly from the wounds. Not even oozed so much as coaxed out by sharp teeth. His perfectly chiseled ear was hanging on by a few strands of granite skin. She was pretty sure his pinky finger was missing.

The two combatants were grinning evilly at each other. They were committed now. This fight would only end one way. Someone would not walk away from this beach ever again…

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To Be Continued... don't kill me please..._meep_


	2. Jacob Wins!

**A/N: So i realize that the summary says that edwards fight would come first but i was in the mood to let Jake win first so here it is, the end of the fight in Jacobs favor! (Edwards will be posted tomorrow)**

**Jacob Wins**

Jacob growled; the noise garbled and not at all threatening. The leech had nearly crushed his larynx with a blow that was intended to pulverize his skull. But he growled none the less. It was instinct. Everything was instinct now. Animalistic. All senses were poised and alert. All muscles were taunt and ready to launch him into battle again.

Across the beach; the parasite waited, eyeing him with a ferocity that was rarely seen in the Cullen clan. They kept their respective beasts well hidden behind carefully constructed masks. But Jacob saw what they truly were. He saw the reason for the existence of his own kind. Wolves were created to destroy leeches as light was created to dispel darkness. He would dispel this ugly shadow; this black hole of a creature; this absence of life and light. Or he would die trying.

Jake decidedly closed his jaws with a snap. And stood a bit taller on his four heavily planted paws. His shoulder popped painfully back into its socket but he didn't really feel it; adrenalin was coursing through his veins in increasing volume.

It was time to attack again; before the leech had a chance to fully recover. Already, the gashes on the others chest were starting to shrink. Couldn't let him heal…

Jake launched forward, not even daring to think; the parasite was listening. He covered half the distance in a single bound before the vampire even moved. They met again, for the final time perhaps. This time was not nearly as neat and tidy as the initial confrontation had been. The leech made a grab for him as they charged each other. Jake quickly lurched his body in the opposite direction. But the move was not quick enough. He felt his skin tearing as the parasite grabbed a fistful of his fur and pulled hard. Jake let out a yelp automatically but ignored the pain and used the momentum to his advantage. He wheeled around, facing the vampires back. He jumped up and landed his massive front paws on the leech's shoulders, flinging his weight forward to push the other monster to the sand. The vampire squirmed and bucked under him, the ice cold arms reached desperately behind him. Jacob pushed down with all his strength, sliding his paws down the shoulders and holding down the flailing arms. The cold person beneath him suddenly redoubled his efforts to dislodge Jacob's solid form. He'd read Jakes mind.

Jacob decided he had to act now, before the leech found a way to break out of the hold. He struck, mouth open wide. A metallic squealing sound filled his ears as his teeth tore through the granite skin. The stench of vampire became the taste of vampire; thick and heavy on his tongue. Freezing cold filled his jaw; like he'd just shoved a handful of ice cubes into his mouth. Jake pressed on, clenching his jaw, seeking to bring his teeth together and to bring an end the bane of his existence.

And then…then the struggling beneath him ceased. Bella screamed. And it was over.


	3. Edward Wins!

**Edward Wins**

If he'd been alive to begin with, Edward imagined he would be panting from exertion. This was very nearly the most difficult battle he'd ever fought. In the back of his mind, he knew Bella would be furious with him. She might even hate him; never wanting to see his face ever again. But the mutt had gone too far; pushed too many buttons. Instinct took over his carefully constructed self control. The age old feud would continue. Pleasantries and treaties were over.

He pushed his ear back into place. It was annoying to not be able to hear properly. He ignored his missing appendage; there would be time to search for it later, when he was finished killing the pup. Said creature was spewing profanities from his mind. Mixed in with the foul language were a few tactical plans. Edward set his teeth. This would be harder than it should be, but he was ready.

Edward waited for the dog to strike first. Then he ran to meet him. The dog after the cat. Only this time, that cat was a lion. And the dog was just a sniveling flea bitten mutt—

He was charging. The original enemy of the vampires. Nature's response to the disease that stilled the blood in his veins. Shape shifters. Edward muttered a curse and sprang forward. The world around him slowed and everything became agonizingly clear. Bella's scream was slow and drawn out. Jacobs's roar of indignant anger bellowed across the beach as Edward ran to meet him.

The wolf leapt upwards as they met; jaws straining to catch Edwards neck. Edward ducked under the assault and reached up as the wooly mammoth soared over his head. His hand clamped around a long fluffy tail and he yanked hard, pulling hard to the left and flinging the mongrel into a pile of driftwood. The pain registered then, as did Bella's hysterical cry. Edward set his jaw and purposefully didn't look at his nearly severed arm that hung by long dead muscle strands. Instead, he fixed a murderous glare at the recovering dog, who was busy yanking a piece of wood from his hindquarters, as Edward pushed the limb back into place. He winced as the flesh seared seamlessly together.

Then he sprang again; not waiting for the pup to recover enough to implement his plan of attack. Edward wanted, _needed_, to finish this. He and the wolf danced the deadly dance of war around the beach, the dog looking for an opening, Edward reading the things thoughts and keeping his openings closed as he lured the animal towards the trap. Slowly, they neared the water. Edward was banking on the irrational fury of his enemy to keep the two locked together. The dog was stupid enough not to pay attention.

Water splashed and churned under his lightly treading feet. It was then that the mutt realized what was happening. His attention was focused on the icy water for a split second. And that was all that Edward needed. He darted forward, snaking his arms around the beast's massive neck and dragging backwards, further into the ocean. The mongrel struggled, panic flooding his thoughts. And Edward kept pulling. They were underwater now; far below the surface. Edward continued to pull, using all his dead weight and muscle to keep the thrashing beast at bay.

And then…then the struggling ceased. From the shore, Bella screamed. And it was over.


	4. Mike wins?

**A/N: Ok, this next chapter is pure crackfic! Just a warning. It's meant to make you giggle. I wasn't origianlly planing on writing this chapter but one of my few reviewers gave me the idea for it so...well, here you go. Mike wins...?**

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**Mike Wins?**

The two roaring snapping monsters on the beach frightened him. But truly, they did not surprise him. Because he lived in a world of fantasy as well. The shape shifters and vampires were not the only mystical creatures in the general Forks area. That was just the beginning.

Mike really liked Bella. Really and truly. Because of that, he never wanted to actually use his gift on her. He had wanted to do it for real this time; to be good and do it for real, because they did not live in a time where fairies could just cause a ruckus and not be noticed. And where had that gotten him? Nowhere because two mythical creatures were already fighting for her hand. Literally. And judging by the sounds on the beach, they were about to kill each other. Well, good. Let them duke it out. He had other ways to win a woman.

Only once had his kind been properly documented by a living soul. And the tale that had been recounted was, gratefully, one of the more ridiculous ones and so had been left alone. Although, truth be told, it would have been fun to mess with the mind who wrote it down all those many years ago. That mind was a wild and gay place to be sure.

Mike looked down from his place in the pine tree and watched as Bella's heart was ruthlessly being ripped in two by the men whom she loved. Jacob was going on with his silly roaring. Fool. She does not care for the loud monstrous roaring. _I will roar you as gently as any sucking dove; I will roar you, as 'twere any nightingale._ And the fool of a vampire… prancing about as though he were a cat. Does he not know? A lion among ladies is a most dreadful thing.

He'd been so good these past years. Nary a prank or cruel joke had he committed. At least… not to the degree of notice. Mostly. But now it was time to make her happy. That was noble. Right? Bella deserved to be happy right now.

Now the hungry lion roars, and the wolf behowls the moon. And Robin Goodfellow would use his wily ways and cupid cursed flowers to get the girl.

Mike carefully crept down to the edge of the beach, where Bella had collapsed into a hysterical heap on the ground. He moved silently, not wanting to catch the attention of the murderous animals further down the beach. He didn't have cool healing powers or super strength and being caught in the middle of a blood feud was not conducive to good health care.

"Bella?" Mike whispered the name in her ear. As she turned, he rubbed the residue of his special flower on his finger tips.

"Mike?" She looked horrified that he was here. He didn't blame her. But he did wipe away her tears, brushing her eyelids.

"Shh, it'll be ok." He assured her. Mike didn't have cool strength or healing powers, but he did have a bag of tricks. He pushed drowsiness on her now. It didn't take much, sobbing hysterically drained a person quite effectively. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped in slumber. Mike carefully wrapped his arms around her and lifted her from the ground. One last glance at the two combatants, to make sure he wasn't going to be noticed, and Mike was quietly stealing away into the forest with the woman of his dreams in his arms. And as soon as she woke up, he'd be the love of her life as well.

It was over. And yet, it was just the beginning.

Fin.

(yes you can laugh hystarically now...or throw various kitchen appliences at me)


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